How to Deal With Fear In Sales: Why "Get Over It" Isn't Enough

 
 
 

I hear a lot of experts talking about beating fear, moving past fears, eliminating fear, but no one's really talking about HOW TO ACTUALLY DO THAT. I’m going to tell you how to do that today in this video, and the good news is, it's a really simple exercise you can work into your day today. Right now, even.

But first, I want to set the record straight. I don’t think the conversation should be about “beating” anything. It’s the relationship you have with fear that is the issue. If you hate your fears or are afraid of your fear, it's only going to manifest more fear.

Because here's the thing: fear is biology. It's part of who we are, so we can't ignore it. Fear is our brain’s way of protecting us from danger, and can save our lives in certain situations so when people talk about eliminating fear they're talking about dulling your natural sense of danger and I am not a fan of that.

Even further, the idea of eliminating fear really feeds into this idea of perfectionism — if we can eliminate fear we can be more perfect humans. This is nonsense. If theres anything you need to eliminate from your thinking it's the idea that you need to know everything, be everything, and be perfect in order to succeed because … you don't.

Fearless humans don’t exist. Successful people have fears — take a look at my About page and see the kinds of people I’ve worked with for proof. We have ALL been afraid (and come up against fear every day in most cases) but these people have been successful at managing fear and have learned how to not let it hold them back, not eliminating it altogether.

Watch today’s video for some examples, personal stories, and other interesting, fun, and entertaining bits about how your brain works because it is fascinating.

So I’m sure you’re thinking “OK, Kristy, so how DO I deal with fear?” And I’m so glad you asked because this five step process has a sweet little acronym that is easy to remember (NAMES), easy to do, and takes five minutes or less to perform. Do it before every sales call, every conversation, every presentation, or any time you’re feeling anxiety, stress, or fear.

It’ll change your life. I know this because it changed mine.

How to Deal With Fear: 5 Steps in 5 Minutes or Less

  • Notice — Take a second to yourself and just breathe. What you are feeling? Where are you feeling it? Recognize that you're actually feeling something and where it’s showing up for you. For example, my fear of public speaking or presenting usually shows up in my throat.

  • Acknowledge — Acknowledge that it exists instead of trying to ignore it or push it away. Start to analyze why it is you could be feeling this way. Are you afraid you’re unprepared? Unclear? Afraid of losing the deal? Once you figure this out you can start to rationalize and control your thoughts.

  • Make the Connection — Now that you’ve acknowledged your fear, try to figure out the root cause of this fear. What kind of fear is it and when was the first time you remember feeling this way? For me, my fear of public speaking came from my childhood experience of being teased while giving a book report. That was the first time I felt exposed and vulnerable in front of an audience.

  • Evaluate — Is this real NOW? Fears are irrational and stem from past experiences that our subconscious mind creates to keep us from feeling pain. So if you can talk your way through this, recognizing that you are not in any danger now, you can diffuse the fear and start to think more clearly.

  • Spotlight — Now that you’ve diffused the fear, you can take the focus off of your anxiety and put the focus back on your client — how you’re going to help them, how you're going to serve them, how you're going to transform them personally and in their business. Once you’ve cleared your head and are in the present moment (rather than reliving a subconscious fear from years, or even decades ago) you will be a more effective communicator.

Try this out and let me know how it changed your outlook. If you’ve got a question you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode, hit the contact button at the bottom of the page or shoot me an email at hello@kristyellington.com.

If you want to get my free guide, 13 Trigger Emotions That Lead to More Sales, grab it here.

Until next time.